"Do you buy antiques?" That's the question that will make every antique dealer I know cringe. How are we supposed to answer this? The immediate thought that comes to mind is, "How the heck to you THINK I get this stuff?" However, it is not polite to say this out loud.
I have a couple of answers, depending on who's asking. If I am face to face with the questioner in my shop, I usually say brightly, "No. As a matter of fact the Antiques Fairies leave things on the front lawn each morning for me to gather up." This generally elicits a blank look, and then a slow look of understanding that I have made a funny.
Depending on my mood, I may instead confide, "No, my husband and I make them in the basement. Was there something in particular you wanted?" Again, a blank look usually ensues, and then a dawning recognition of the stupidity of the question.
Those posing the offending question are always trying to sell me something, and it is amazing how many of them "have absolutely no idea" how much money they want for the object at hand. In this situation my answer is always the same, "I'll give you ten dollars." Doesn't matter what it is, an armoire or a bread box: "I'll give you ten dollars." From the shocked look I surmise they are thinking of a bit more cash. "Ah, so you DO have an idea how much you want!" I find this perhaps unorthodox method saves quite a bit of time in negotiations.
That's all for now...I need to be awake early to see what the Antiques Fairies bring me tomorrow!